Technology · International Review of Obvious Results
Inbox Zero Declared Physically Impossible by Panel of Physicists
The unread count is conserved: it can be archived, snoozed, or marked read, but never destroyed.
Dr. Ingrid VaneProfessor of Applied Despair, Polytechnic of LettersPublished Jul 30, 2026Contested
Physicists have confirmed what office workers long suspected: the unread email count obeys a conservation law.
Attempts to reach zero produced an equal and opposite accumulation in a folder labelled "misc". The panel recommends accepting the inbox as a permanent feature of the landscape, like weather.
